Anorgasmia means difficulty reaching orgasm is common and treatable. This article explains why women experience orgasm difficulties and how a sex-positive, trauma-informed psychosexual therapy approach helps address emotional, physical and relational causes. With support such as sensate focus, body-awareness work, psychoeducation and couples intimacy therapy, women can rebuild pleasure, confidence and connection. Whether through psychosexual therapy London, sex therapist near me or online psychosexual counselling UK, women can overcome shame and restore a healthy, fulfilling sexual life.
December 3, 2025
For many women difficulty reaching orgasm is a deeply private struggle, one often hidden even from close partners. Anorgasmia or persistent difficulty achieving orgasm is far more common than most people realise. Yet because culture often frames orgasm as the 'goal' of sex, women who experience this issue may carry shame, self-doubt, anxiety or a quiet fear that something is 'wrong' with their bodies.
As a psychosexual therapist in London working with women individually, in couples and online across the UK, I see anorgasmia regularly. Women come to therapy feeling frustrated, disconnected from their bodies or worried they're letting their partner down. Many fear they are alone in their experience but they are not.
In this article I would like to explore why anorgasmia happens, how it affects sexual confidence and relationships and how psychosexual therapy can support healing, empowerment and a renewed connection to pleasure.
It also integrates key themes I see repeatedly in therapy: anxiety, shame, avoidance, body disconnection, relational patterns, trauma histories, learned beliefs about pleasure, ignorance about pelvic floor health and different kind of fears and phobias.
Anorgasmia refers to persistent difficulty or inability to reach orgasm even when there is adequate physical stimulation, desire or emotional connection.
Women often describe experiences such as:
Orgasm is not merely a bodily reflex. It is shaped by nervous system safety, emotional trust, body awareness and connection, cultural conditioning, past experiences and relational patterns.
My therapeutic approach blends:
When working with women experiencing anorgasmia, the goal is not to 'fix' a malfunctioning body but to cultivate a deeper sense of safety, permission, curiosity and connection within the body and within relationships.
I work with anorgasmia in my clinical work and it's one of the most common and the most difficult themes to work with.
A recurring pattern in therapy is the emotional burden women carry, including:
Many women were never given sex education that explains pleasure, clitoral anatomy or emotional safety. And many have absorbed harmful beliefs that make relaxation - the foundation of orgasm, is nearly impossible.
when a woman has never experienced orgasm. Often linked to limited sexual education, shame, trauma, restrictive upbringing or difficulty connecting to bodily sensations.
Orgasm becomes difficult after a period of typical sexual function. Common causes include hormonal changes, stress, grief, medication, relationship strain or trauma resurfacing.
Orgasms occur only in certain contexts (e.g. alone but not with a partner). Very common and highly treatable through intimacy therapy and psychosexual counselling.
Women frequently tell me they were raised to be:
This shapes how safe they feel receiving pleasure, asking for what they want or prioritising their own sensations.
As a private sex therapist in London and online, I use a combination of science-based and body-based tools:
The goal becomes pleasure, not achievement.
Understanding clitoral anatomy, arousal patterns and the nervous system reduces confusion and anxiety.
Grounding, breathwork and mindful touch reconnect women to sensation and safety.
Trauma-informed therapy gently supports women in releasing fear and reclaiming pleasure.
Evidence-based, non-goal-oriented intimacy practices that rebuild trust and connection.
Helpful for tension, fear or painful sex (dyspareunia).
Strengthens communication, trust, pacing and emotional closeness.
When hormonal, neurological or medication factors are present.
For women who prefer privacy or convenience, online psychosexual counselling for anorgasmia is highly effective. Secure online sessions provide a safe, shame-free space for:
Anorgasmia can feel isolating but you do not have to face it alone. With compassionate, evidence-based support, women can:
If you’re seeking help for sexual problems in London, sex therapy London, psychosexual therapy Harley Street, or an experienced psychosexual therapist near me, know that support is available confidentially and at your pace.
