Sexual aversion is not a personal failure and not something to 'push through'. It is a protective response from a nervous system trying to keep you safe. It can feel isolating, shameful and confusing but you do not need to face it alone. Healing is absolutely possible.
November 20, 2025
Sexual aversion can affect people of any gender, orientation or relationship status. It may appear suddenly or develop gradually over time. While it can create confusion, shame or relationship strain, sexual aversion is highly treatable. With compassionate, specialised support, individuals can heal underlying wounds, rebuild safety and rediscover connection and pleasure at their own pace.
Sexual aversion refers to a persistent fear, anxiety or avoidance of sexual activity. For some, even thinking about sex triggers discomfort, panic or physical tension. For others, sexual situations feel overwhelming, triggering withdrawal, shutdown or emotional distress.
Sexual aversion is not a choice. It's a response from the nervous system trying to keep the person safe.
Avoidance of all sexual contact or sexual thoughts.
Fear or avoidance only in specific contexts, positions, expectations or with certain partners.
Aversion that emerges after or due to post sexual trauma, coercion or negative experiences.
Occurs within a specific relationship due to conflict, resentment, fear or attachment patterns.
Sexual aversion is often rooted in emotional, psychological, relational or physical experiences that create fear around intimacy.
When the body associates sex with danger, threat or vulnerability, aversion becomes a protective response.
These responses are signs of the nervous system activating protective mechanisms, not signals of personal weakness or disinterest.
Most partners misunderstand sexual aversion as rejection but the realist is a pattern rooted in fear, not lack of love.
Psychosexual therapy helps both partners understand and navigate this with compassion and clarity.
Psychosexual therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental, trauma-informed space to explore the roots of sexual aversion and gradually rebuild safety and connection.
Exploring emotional, physical or relational causes.
Before addressing sex, therapy focuses on:
Using:
Challenging beliefs such as:
Creating space for vulnerability, validation and self-compassion.
Using trauma-informed approaches that prioritise safety and pacing.
Helping partners:
Healing sexual aversion is gentle, patient and always guided by the individual's comfort.
With compassion, patience, emotional support and specialist guidance, individuals can rediscover safety, comfort, confidence, desire, pleasure, healthy intimacy and renewed relationship with their body.
