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Painful Sex: Is It Normal

If you're experiencing pain during sex, you're not alone. It's not something you have to silently endure. Painful intercourse, or dyspareunia, can happen for many reasons: hormonal changes after childbirth, lack of comfort or connection, or psychological blocks. In this post, we break down the common causes, symptoms, and real treatment options available to help you feel more at ease in your body and in your relationship. Whether you're dealing with dryness, discomfort or deeper pain, there are gentle, effective ways to find relief and get back to intimacy on your terms.

May 28, 2025

Painful Sex: What You Should Know and How to Get Help

Let's talk about something that's more common than you might think but often goes unspoken: pain during sex. If you've ever experienced discomfort or pain during intimacy, you're not alone. For many people painful intercourse ( the medical term 'dyspareunia') can be frustrating, confusing and even emotionally distressing.

But here's the good news: this condition is treatable and there are real solutions available. Whether your pain has just started or you've been dealing with it for a while, understanding what's behind it is the first step towards a relief.

What Is Painful Sex(Dyspareunia)?

Dyspareunia refers to pain during or after sexual activity. It might feel like burning, throbbing, stinging, or sharp pain. For some, the pain happens at the entrance of the vagina during penetration. For others, it’s a deep, internal ache that comes with certain positions or movements.

While it’s more commonly reported by women, pain during sex can affect anyone regardless of gender or age.

How Does It Feel?

Everyone’s experience is a little different, but here are some common ways painful sex might show up:

  • Sharp or stabbing pain during penetration
  • Deep pelvic pain during thrusting
  • Burning or arching sensations that last after sex
  • Pain when inserting a tampon
  • Muscle spasms or tightness in the pelvic area

If this sounds familiar, it's worth talking to your GP first.

Why Does Sex Hurt?

There are many possible reasons, and often more than one factor is involved. Some of the most common causes of painful intercourse include:

1. Not Enough Lubrication

This can happen if there isn’t enough foreplay or due to hormonal changes from menopause, breastfeeding, or childbirth. Certain medications, like antidepressants or birth control pills can also reduce natural lubrication.

2. Infections or Irritation

Things like yeast infections ,urinary tract infections (UTIs), or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause burning and discomfort. Skin conditions such as eczema or vulvar dermatitis can also lead to pain.

3. Medical Conditions

Painful sex can be linked to conditions like:

  • Endometriosis
  • Pelvic floor dysfunction
  • Ovarian cysts
  • Irritable bowl syndrome (IBS)
  • Interstitial cystitis ( painful bladder syndrome)

4. Emotional and Psychological Factors

Stress, anxiety, depression, body image concerns or past trauma can all contribute to dyspareunia. When your mind isn’t relaxed, your body might respond with tension especially in the pelvic floor muscles.

5. Injury or Trauma

Pain can also follow childbirth, surgery, or any physical injury to the genital area. Even resuming sex too soon after delivery can trigger discomfort.

Should You Talk to a Doctor?

Yes. Pain during sex is not something you just have to live with. If you’re experiencing consistent discomfort, especially if it’s affecting your relationship or mental health, reach out to your GP.

Treatment for Painful Intercourse:

Treatment depends on what’s causing the pain. Here are a few options that doctors might recommend:

Medical Options:

  • Topical estrogen or prescription meds (like ospemifene) if low estrogen is to blame
  • Antibiotics or antifungals for infections
  • Pelvic floor physical therapy to strengthen or relax the muscles

At-Home Remedies:

  • Use water- or silicone-based lubricants to reduce friction
  • Try new positions that put less pressure on painful areas
  • Avoid scented soaps, wipes or feminine sprays
  • Take a warm bath or apply a cool compress after sex
  • Focus on communication and foreplay with your partner

Mental Health Support:

If anxiety, trauma, or stress are part of the picture, psychosexual therapy can be incredibly helpful.

Contact to arrange preliminary consultation on www.londonpsychosexualtherapy.co.uk

Can You Prevent Painful Sex?

Not always but you can lower your risk by:

  • Practicing safe sex to avoid infections
  • Managing chronic health issues
  • Keeping the vaginal area clean and hydrated
  • Being open with your partner and prioritizing comfort

Painful sex is more common than most people realize, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. Whether it’s a physical issue, an emotional one, or a mix of both, help is out there and many people find real relief with the right care.

If sex has become something you avoid because of pain, it’s time to talk to a professional. You deserve to enjoy intimacy without discomfort and getting support is the first step.

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